"I'll take your bad days with your good, walk through the storm I would, do it all because I love you" - Katy Perry, Unconditionally
I may get flack for this, as some of you won't agree with what I have to say, what I believe, or how I feel. But no one's forcing you to read what I write, so there's that.
Anyway, I've been struggling with a lot of garbage lately. An uphill battle with negativity in my life, toxic thoughts, actions, just...garbage. Nothing I feel compelled to go into, just know it's been a rough year or so. I officially left the church as an organization, but have been attempting to retain my relationship with God. I'll be the first to admit, it wasn't going well. Never bad enough to where I renounced my faith, but things were looking bleak. One night, when I was working one of my 16 hour Fridays, I have no doubt God reached out to me. His vessel for this task is admittedly an odd one: Katy Perry. Yes, you read that right: "I Kissed A Girl" Katy Perry. This may sound weird, but stay with me: I'm pretty sure a pop star saved my life.
I mean, I know God works in mysterious ways, I've been told that my entire life. But this was a new one for me. Her song Unconditionally started playing on my iPod. I've heard it many times, but on this night, the lyrics were different somehow. "Oh no, did I get too close? Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside? All your insecurities, all the dirty laundry, never made me blink one time." You guys. God knows about everything I've ever done. Ev. Er. Eee. Thing. And yet, He still loves me. Yes, we're taught in Sunday School as children (those of us who grew up in the church), but holy crap! Being reminded of that as an adult? One who felt he'd lost his way? Well, that was pretty dang cool. And there's another line in the song that states "Acceptance is the key to be, to be truly free", and in that moment, I heard a voice telling me to just accept the forgiveness and the grace that was offered to me when Jesus took my place on the cross. I may or may not have had to pull over due to a few (hundred) tears being shed.*
Does this mean I'm going to be perfect? Shoot no. Lord knows I've made mistakes, and He knows I'll continue to make them. But He loves me IN SPITE of it all! He still wants to use me. He still has a plan for my life, and wants me to succeed. It doesn't get much better than that.
*TOTALLY did.
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