Love Song For No One

"Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here"- John Mayer
Love Song For No One (Live) - John Mayer

I'm tired of people telling me I need to get over my "fear of rejection" and that I just need to "put myself out there". Answer me this: How do I have a fear of rejection when a large majority of my life is spent...being...rejected? And I don't JUST mean romantically. Don't forget, I'm a (struggling) rockstar first, author second (And yes. I use the word "author" lightly...please. I write dribble, and only write when I'm bored or perplexed). The biggest constant in my field? Is rejection. Hustle, sing your heart out, hear "no" again, repeat. This goes on for years. I'm noticing the same trend when it comes to trying to find a date. Yes, a. One. Not "The One", just a single freaking date. Except I don't always sing my heart out. (OK, yes I do.)

Anyway, my point is this. I don't have a fear of rejection, I'm just tired of it. Please note the difference.

So, on the one hand, I'm tired of being rejected. On the other? I'm like John Mayer. Tired of being alone. Ah, life and your Catch 22s....

This is just something that was bugging me today. No one has to read it, I don't know that anyone will, and that's OK. A lot of times I'll probably be writing for my own sanity anyway.